Let’s talk about wedding planning tips every lesbian couple needs to know.
Planning a wedding is a stressful event, I don’t think I have to remind you of that.
It doesn’t help that a good chunk of wedding planning tips out there are geared towards a bride and a groom.
While our tips are geared more towards lesbian couples, they are good tips for any couple looking to do things their own way.
Let’s check them out!
Lesbian Wedding Planning Tips Every Couple Should Know
1. Guest List & Invitations
When it comes to your guest list, remember that it’s YOUR wedding so invite whomever you want there with you as your celebrate your big day!
Of course, you’ll probably want to exclude anyone you think may ruin your special day, who is against same-sex marriages and has no problem expressing this. It’s really hard, to decide to leave someone off the guest list that means so much to you, but you shouldn’t have to put up with discrimination on your big day.
For your wedding invitations, Minted has a few great options, including United as One Invitations, Three Words Invitations and Kiss + Kiss Invitations. These 3 options also have matching RSVP cards.
2. Choosing an Officiant
Choosing your wedding officiant will mainly depend on whether you want a religious ceremony or not. If you don’t want a religious ceremony, the answer is pretty simple, hire a Justice of the Peace (JP).
If you do want a religious ceremony, you may have a tougher time with this task, but it’s not impossible. While several popular religious sects, such as Christianity, Hinduism, Islam and Judaism, don’t approve of same-sex marriage, that doesn’t mean you won’t find clergy within those sects that will perform same-sex weddings.
You may have to do some digging and searching, but you may just find a minister, priest or rabbi to marry you.
3. Wedding Vendors
When searching for wedding vendors, such as DJ’s, Photographers, Planners and venues, it is important that you choose vendors that are LGBT-Friendly. These vendors are the ones that are most likely to envision your wedding day right along with you, as well as honor those vision.
4. Wedding Party
Who says you can only have a maid of honor, a best man, bridesmaids, or groomsmen
Related: Maid of Honor Gifts? Why not get creative when choosing your wedding party! It doesn’t matter what sex they are, if you want them by your side at the altar, then choose them and name them accordingly. You can call them Best Woman, Man of Honor, Bridesmen, Groomsmaids, Groomsmen or Groomswomen.
5. Wedding Attire
There really are no set rules when to comes to your wedding attire. Which basically means that you can wear whatever you choose.
- For instance, you can both wear a wedding gown or a formal evening dress, or you can both choose to wear a suit or a tuxedo.
- Another option is one of you can wear a wedding gown or formal evening dress, while your partner wears a suit or a tuxedo.
- The sky’s the limit so have fun when choosing your wedding attire.
6. Walking Down the Aisle
In the traditional wedding sense, a wedding ceremony will have the groom waiting at the altar while the brides walks down the aisle. But, your wedding has 2 brides, so what do you do? Luckily, you have a few options available.
- Of course, you can still take the traditional route and have one of you wait at the altar while the other walks down the aisle.
- Or you can both walk down the aisle together, perhaps holding hands; you can have 2 aisles instead of one and you both walk down the aisle; you can walk down the aisle, one after the other or you can walk down the aisle with a family member or close friend, either together or separately.
7. Ceremony Readings
Choosing readings for your ceremony, especially ones that are based on books, movies, poems or songs, is such a fun task for the both of you to work on together. The Wedding Wire has a great list of ideas for ceremony readings, ranging from short and sweet to full-length poems.
Check: Best Lesbian Romance Movies
8. Dealing with Discrimination
I would love to leave this part off, to have us live in a world where same-sex couples face no discrimination. Where they can just go to their favorite bakery and have a cake made without being told that their union opposes the baker’s religious beliefs. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world yet, and discrimination is something that every same-sex couple may face at some point in their wedding planning
Related: Vintage Lesbian Wedding
Anti-discrimination laws change frequently. In Arizona, the court upheld the law, ruling that a flower vendor couldn’t refuse to service a gay wedding. However, the Colorado baker won his case, so now he can choose to discriminate against whoever he wants if he says it’s for religious reason. The ACLU keeps a running list of bills across the country dealing with LGBT issues.
If you DO run into a vendor who turns you away because of your sexual orientation, you have a couple of choices.
- Find another vendor: that one isn’t worth the paper your money is printed on. Get your cake, flowers, etc from someone who truly deserves your business.
- Find another vendor, but make some noise. Take to social media and make sure everyone knows that the vendor discriminates against same-sex couples.
- Fight it. Call your local ACLU chapter and see if they’ll take the case. Just be prepared for a battle (it’s worth it, but you may also want to find another vendor, too, so your plans aren’t interrupted).
How to Help Make Sure Your Wedding is as Inclusive as Possible!
Lesbian couples have the same right to a magical wedding day as any other couple, but it’s important to make sure your special day is inclusive for everyone involved.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when planning your lesbian wedding to ensure that everyone feels included and celebrated:
- Be mindful of your language: It’s easy to slip into using heteronormative language when planning a wedding, but it’s important to be mindful of the language you’re using and make sure it’s inclusive for everyone. Instead of “bride and groom,” use “partner A and partner B” or “our wedding party.”
- Ditch the traditional gender roles: Weddings are steeped in tradition, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to traditional gender roles. Both partners can walk down the aisle, both can wear a white dress, or both can wear a suit. Do what feels right for you and your partner.
- Make sure your wedding party is inclusive: When choosing your wedding party, make sure to choose people who are supportive of your relationship and will make your wedding day inclusive for everyone. This could mean choosing friends and family who are also part of the LGBTQ+ community, or choosing people who are committed to making your wedding day inclusive for all.
- Consider your venue: When choosing a venue, make sure it’s a place that feels welcoming and inclusive for everyone. This could mean choosing a venue that has hosted other LGBTQ+ weddings, or choosing a venue that is known for its inclusive policies.
- Incorporate traditions that are meaningful to you: Weddings are all about tradition, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to traditional wedding customs. Incorporate traditions that are meaningful to you and your partner, whether that’s a handfasting ceremony or a unity candle ceremony.
- Make it clear that all love is welcome: One of the most important things to keep in mind when planning a lesbian wedding is to make it clear that all love is welcome. This could mean including a statement in your wedding program or on your wedding website that welcomes all love, or even having a moment of silence during the ceremony to honor all the different types of love represented at the wedding.
- Consider your guests: When planning your wedding, make sure to consider your guests and how they might feel. This could mean choosing a venue that is accessible for everyone, or providing options for guests with different needs.
- Have fun and be yourself: Most importantly, remember to have fun and be yourselves on your wedding day. This is a celebration of love and commitment, and it should be a reflection of who you are as a couple.
At the end of the day, planning a lesbian wedding can be a bit different than planning a traditional wedding, but it’s important to make sure that everyone feels included and celebrated.
By being mindful of your language, ditching traditional gender roles, choosing an inclusive wedding party, considering your venue, incorporating traditions that are meaningful to you, making it clear that all love is welcome, considering your guests, and having fun and being yourselves, you’ll be sure to have a wedding day that is truly magical for everyone involved.
Deanna has a knack for finding unique vacation destinations. She regularly puts her research skills into action to find the most amazing LGBTQ-friendly honeymoon ideas.