Who Wears the Engagement Ring in a Gay Relationship?

Women wearing the engagement ring is the norm. That’s because it’s traditional for women to wear engagement rings.

But if you’re gay, you probably want to know: who wears the engagement ring in a gay relationship?

There aren’t any hard-and-fast rules here, but there are some guidelines you can follow if you’re having trouble deciding who should wear the engagement ring. Read on to find out more.

Check: Beautiful LGBT Rings

Who Pops the Question?

First things first, in Western culture, the image of an engagement ring on the fourth finger of a woman’s left hand is ingrained in our consciousness.

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In a hetero marriage, it’s traditional for the man to give his wife a ring to show his love and commitment.

In a gay marriage, it’s traditional for the couple to decide together who will wear the ring (or rings) as an outward sign of their love and commitment.

gay men proposing to his boyfriend

It’s usually whoever proposed to whom or wants the expense/drama of buying a ring.  Some people don’t mind either way, and some are put out by it.

But neither way is wrong. The important thing is that you talk to your partner about what the two of you want.

Make sure you both feel excited about the way your engagement feels to each of you. If it works for the two of you to give each other rings, go for it! 

Ring Finger For Gay Men

It’s not cast in stone which fingers same-sex couples should wear their ring on. Some wear it traditionally on their left-hand middle finger.

hands wearing engagement rings

But it’s not uncommon to find gay couples wearing their rings on the right hand. For example, whoever proposed should wear it on their right hand.

If they both proposed simultaneously, either person could wear it on their right hand. If no one proposed and just got engaged, they can decide who should wear it together.

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It’s also less awkward not to have an engagement ring in this situation.  

Do Gay Men Wear Diamond Engagement Rings?

So, do gay men wear wedding rings?

In the past, gay couples have tended to eschew engagement rings in favor of another piece of jewelry, like a necklace.

man putting gold wedding ring to his groom

However, many LGBT+ couples are now opting for the traditional engagement ring for their engagements.

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So Yes! Gay men can and do wear diamond engagement rings. If you’re a gay man, don’t hesitate to buy the ring of your dreams.

You’re going to be wearing it for all eternity, so go ahead and make it count—and if you want a diamond, that’s okay!

If your partner is a gay man who wants an engagement ring with a diamond in it, then, by all means, get him one.

He is just as entitled to enjoy the beauty and tradition of a diamond engagement ring as any other couple, and you should definitely give it to him if that’s what he wants!  

Check our list of the best engagement rings for gay men.

Engagement ring, Wedding band, or Both?

Engagement rings and wedding bands symbolize your love, devotion, and commitment. That’s what makes them special.

But there’s no one-size-fits-all rule for who should wear what.

two men wearing engagement/wedding rings under title Who Wears the Engagement Ring in a Gay Relationship

Some people choose to have engagement rings and wedding bands that match exactly, while others prefer to have engagement rings and wedding bands that are different but complement each other.

There are plenty of ways to incorporate both engagement rings and wedding bands into your relationship.

You might also consider both getting matching bands instead of an engagement ring for now. They won’t have to worry about who wears what when they’re wearing matching bands!

The most important thing about engagement and wedding jewelry is that you pick what works for you and your partner.  

Check out this video on how to choose a ring

What If You and Your Partner Are Not Too Keen On Getting Engagement Rings?

The good news is that there are plenty of other options if both of you are not too excited about having engagement rings leading up to your big day.

For instance, instead of buying jewelry to be worn on your significant other’s finger, you can get something that will adorn their wrist. A perfect example is a love bracelet. These can be customized to bear your name as well as your partner’s. You can also choose from various designs and materials. You can go for gold- or silver-colored chains or designs that combine steel, fabric, and other durable or colorful materials. Of course, you can opt for a friendship bracelet design, but if you want something that symbolizes your lifelong commitment that is more than friendship, you can select more elegant designs.

For a more subtle approach to wrist-worn symbols of love, you can get each other watches. You can take it a step further by choosing a watch that comes with a metallic or rainbow-reflective sheen. For customization, you can have the underside engraved with your partner’s name, a dedication, a quote, or a date.

If watches are not your thing, you can opt for an engagement cufflink instead. Cufflinks are extremely useful, especially for formal events, wedding parties, and even business meetings. You can customize the cufflink faces with symbols that hold special meaning to your relationship. It could be a letter, number, animal, or object. You can even invent your own couple symbol (or have it designed by an artist).

Speaking of artists, why not get a tattoo artist to immortalize your relationship? Of course, you need to make sure first that both of you are okay with getting a tattoo (which is typically expensive to remove). The great thing about tattoos is the freedom it gives you. You can practically choose any part of your skin (finger, hand, arm, foot, leg, back, or neck). Plus points if you can get a design that combines your tattoo with your partner’s to form a unified whole.

If you’re scared of needles, you can go for another form of art to commemorate your engagement. Portraits can serve as lasting mementos of the start of your lives together. You can choose photo portraits in full-color treatments, or in stylish black-and-white or retro sepia toned renders. You can also explore illustrated portraits, which can be done through oil paint, watercolor, colored pencil, charcoal, pen and ink, or oil pastel.

How About Proposing Back?

There is no need for you to purchase a ring and propose back when you’ve been proposed to.

The proposal expresses how much the other person wants to spend their life with you and accepting the proposal is an expression of how much you want to do the same.

That’s it! And if you decide that you want to buy a ring and surprise propose back, that’s okay too! The point of a relationship isn’t to keep score—it’s about just being happy and in love.

Do what feels right for your relationship, and best of luck!  


Key Takeaway

Whether or not you follow these traditions, though, it’s always important to ensure that both of your needs are met.

Who Wears the Engagement Ring in a Gay Relationship- should not be a query for you anymore.

Your partner shouldn’t feel pressured into wearing the engagement ring if he doesn’t want to. And you shouldn’t feel like you can’t wear yours if you want to.

a man proposing to his boyfriend

So, who wears the engagement ring in a gay relationship? Let us know your thoughts below!

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