If your hunny was thoughtful enough to propose to you in a creative and exciting way, why not share the feeling with your lady friends by “proposing” to them too? In fact, this is a common tradition known as a “bridesmaid proposal,” and it can be a fun way to ask people to join in the festivities.
In this post, we’ve got you covered when it comes to roping your favorite ladies into your big night! From bridesmaid proposal ideas, long distance or not, to how many bridesmaids you should propose to and more! Read on for everything you need to know about bridesmaid proposals!
What Is a Bridesmaid Proposal?
It sounds fun, but what is a bridesmaid proposal? This tradition is similar in spirit to the way someone might ask someone to marry them — that is, planning a special, thoughtful and significant way to “propose” that your best gal pals be your bridesmaids.
The only limit to how you can propose to your bridesmaids is your imagination, whether sending them flowers at work with a card, hosting a girls’ night where you wine and dine your besties or offering them beautiful, timeless gifts. Whatever you decide, you know your friends best and what will resonate with them most, even if it’s a group spa day. Treat the amazing women in your life the way you hope to be treated on their big days!
Best Bridesmaid Proposal Ideas for Long Distance
When it comes to “proposing” to your chosen bridesmaids, it is not often that all your favorite women happen to live in one spot. For example, you might have a sister in Wisconsin and another in Washington state, though you live in Colorado.
When proposing to your bridesmaids living their best lives outside of your immediate proximity, one of your best bets is to get creative with using the good old postal service. Here are five simple things you can send in the mail as bridesmaid proposal ideas, long-distance ladies included:
1. An artisan bouquet and handwritten card:
Who doesn’t love receiving flowers, especially when they’re from their favorite gal pals? Surprise your bridesmaids at work or home with a unique and beautifully-crafted local bouquet delivery, complete with a handwritten card asking, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”
2. Chocolates or other edibles:
Unless your bridesmaids are allergic or averse, who doesn’t love a good box of chocolates? There are plenty of other treats to send too, such as fruit arrangements or, if it’s a destination wedding, a box of imported sweets from the venue’s location.
3. A singing performer:
While your friends may be able to keep it cool, it can always be fun to embarrass them just a little with an overly earnest singing telegram. Be sure that the performer asks them to be your bridesmaid and don’t forget to leave a tip for this proposal that will surely leave an impression.
4. Jewelry like earrings or a necklace:
It’s also hard to go wrong with jewelry — simple, sweet, elegant pieces that will never go out of style are always welcome gifts. These are also things the bridesmaids could potentially wear in unison during your big day. Hello, coordination — commence wedding planning!
5. A proposal box:
You could also go above and beyond and include a mixed bridesmaid proposal box full of goodies that indicate not only your love and appreciation for your gal pals but also the reason for the package in the first place: you said, “yes!” Keep reading for what to wrap in the perfect bridesmaid proposal box!
What to Include in a Bridesmaid Proposal Box
While there aren’t any “wrong” ideas for things to include in a bridesmaid proposal box, there are a few things you will want to consider including no matter what. The first is a beautiful box, basket or another vessel for sending your “proposal” card and other gifts and trinkets. Other things to consider wrapping in your proposal box include:
- Gourmet candies
- High-quality scented or pure beeswax candles
- Luxury lotion or perfume
- Skincare products like purifying mists, oils and masks
- Spa products, like sugar scrubs, bath bombs, Epsom salts, essential oils, etc.
- Luxury robes — perhaps even embroidered to commemorate the wedding
- Matching “Bridesmaid” tops
Of course, you can always mail these items (like the “Bridesmaid” tee) or the plush robe for a pre-wedding spa day you all plan to attend as the big day draws closer. The important thing is that you send the message, “I want you to be my bridesmaid! Will you say yes?” is delivered to your posse. You can choose whatever you want to include in your proposal box, even if it’s chock full of glitter or confetti with a wedding invite inside!
Now that you’ve identified the basics of what to put in your bridesmaid proposal boxes, we always suggest adding a personal touch to these boxes. Here are a few suggestions;
- Add something your bridesmaids can enjoy immediately once they’ve received your goodie box.
- Try to find something you and your girls can enjoy during the wedding planning phase or while you enjoy your bachelorette party.
- Add an item specific to your wedding theme that your bridesmaid can rock at your wedding.
- Lastly, you want your friends to remember the ride that was planning your wedding so feel free to add a little keepsake to remind you of your adventures.
How Much Money Should I Spend on Each Bridesmaid Proposal?
The great news is a bride can be thoughtful without spending excessive money on each of her bridesmaids. It is not recommended to send gifts or bridesmaids proposals until you have a general idea of your budgeting priorities.
After you are relatively certain how you will be spending the bulk of your money, set aside some funds for “romancing” your bridesmaids with proposal boxes with about $100 value in each. Of course, if your friends are more into the intention behind the gift rather than the price tag, you can always find cheaper trinkets that might play into personal inside jokes you have, special moments you’ve shared or places you’ve visited or even the eternally welcome coffee gift card.
Check out these other similar posts:
- 26 Long Hair Bridesmaid Hairstyles Perfect for Your Wedding Style
- Letter To Bride From Bridesmaid Examples
- Cheap Bridesmaid Proposal Gifts to Buy!
How to Work with Bridesmaids Over Long Distance
Of course, while proposing takes a little forethought, it is generally considered the easiest part of the process — because up next is wedding planning! But how can bridesmaids work together from states apart to help plan a bachelorette party and support the bride without meeting in person? Here are some tips for how to work with bridesmaids from another state or country:
- Strategize a way to keep in touch
- Use a living document like Google Docs to plan. Add to the document and take turns communicating with the wedding planner
- Bridesmaids should separately plan a bachelorette party or wedding shower
- Bridesmaids should also help pick out the wedding dress — even if it’s via FaceTime!
- Bridesmaids can contribute design, theme or décor ideas to elevate the bride’s wedding to the next level
- Have bridesmaids call caterers, florists, bakers, etc., who are local to the venue area and ask for quotes
- Keep running tabs on the budget
- Delegate tasks like mailing invitations if the bride hasn’t already done so
While it is possible to plan many important details about your big day from afar, thanks to today’s technology, you’ll also want to plan for the fun times you have ahead, spending days leading up to your wedding together. Whether that means a wedding shower or bachelorette party, a spa day, getting hair, nails and makeup done or offering emotional or spiritual support, having your girls together for the big day can make all the difference in the world.
When your bridesmaids arrive from out of town in the days before your wedding, make sure they are being looked after and have comfortable accommodations. Maybe even take them on a welcome tour of the area, providing a rundown of what local resources you’ll rely on and what the setup will look like on your wedding day. Most importantly, however, remember to have FUN!
Best Bridesmaid Proposal Ideas, Long Distance Wedding Planning and Proposal Boxes
When connecting with your gal pals, only you know the best way to treat your friends. Just remember, working as a bridesmaid is not all fun and games — even though it is sometimes a LOT of fun! These ladies you dub your closest crew will be your “right-hand women” for making judgment calls in your stead with the wedding planner, comparing prices for vendors, researching wedding venues in your desired locale and even giving you honest feedback about wedding dresses. Work hard, play hard!
While adding physical distance into the mix can certainly make meeting up trickier, the good news is there’s never been an easier time to work together virtually than in a post-pandemic world. As long as you keep your sessions under the 40-minute mark, you can use products like Zoom for free indefinitely and if you all have smartphones, there’s always the option to FaceTime.
What wouldn’t you be able to accomplish if you all pitched in and added your awesome ideas on saving money here and there, elevating the vibe with wedding themes and decor and getting the best deals on vendors, venues and bar accommodations?
Where would we be without our amazing lady friends? Consider proposing to your dream bridesmaid crew today to build an epic girl gang capable of tackling even the most imposing wedding projects — no matter your budget.
Also Read: 13 Inspirational Lesbian Engagement Quotes
Frequently Asked Questions
When Should I Propose to My Bridesmaids?
Of course, it helps to be engaged before you propose to your bridesmaids. The best time to propose is after you’ve set the date and have loosely begun the planning process, such as examining your budgeting potential, possible venues and figuring out how many wedding invitations you need to print and send out. As a courtesy to your ladies, make sure you propose to them well before your wedding day — at least six months, ideally closer to nine months ahead of time.
Are Bridesmaid Proposals Necessary?
Do you have to propose to your bridesmaids or can you go without? Well, you can certainly ask your female friends if they’ve got your back for your wedding point blank — but it’s a little more fun to at least send them a handwritten card or some other sweet trinket as an expression of gratitude for the commitment that you are asking of them. Being a bridesmaid is no insignificant task, so consider how your partner proposed to you and mull over the benefits of sharing that kind of thoughtfulness and love with your tribe.
In short, no, bridesmaid proposals are not necessary. Still, they can be a really fun way to connect with dear friends by not only treating them to some sort of surprise — whether that be an elegant note or a proposal box. It can also mean, “Yes, I am getting married, but I also choose to love my friends until the end.” It’s all a matter of what sort of etiquette you’re comfortable with and your understanding with your friends.
How Many Bridesmaids Should I Propose To?
At the end of the day, this is your wedding — technically, you can invite as many strong, inspiring and powerful ladies to back you on your big day as you would like. However, it is generally considered good practice to make the number of bridesmaids match the number of groomsmen. This is because the groomsmen and bridesmaids typically walk down the aisle in pairs.
However, there have been as many unorthodox weddings as there are unique couples on the planet. As long as your wedding planner is a creative problem solver, they should be able to figure out how to make it work for everyone — even if more girls than guys participate, or visa versa.
What should I do if one of my friends rejects my bridesmaid proposal?
No one wants to hear a no after asking a friend to be part of their big day however we have to consider that our friends may have some things going on in their lives that prevent them from taking on the role of a bridesmaid. After all, it’s a huge time and financial commitment and
Instead of simply getting annoyed at hearing a rejection, try to find out why your friend is unable to join the bridal party. They may have a baby on the way and limited time to participate in all the activities before your wedding. In this case, you can work out a way to have them involved in your wedding without necessarily being a bridesmaid.
Financial constraints may also hinder a friend from committing to being a bridesmaid however she can still be a guest at the wedding. A friend turning down your proposal does not mean they are not happy for you. If you both value the friendship, I’m sure you will reach a compromise that works for both of you.
Should I gift my bridesmaid another gift after they accept my proposal?
We can understand wanting to go all out when proposing to your girls but if you’ve already sent a goodie bag along with your proposal, there is no point in throwing in more gifts for saying yes. Instead, save the further gifting for when you’re out and about wedding shopping. If your budget allows it, you can pick out cute accessories that they can wear at your wedding.
If you intend to have a squad photo shoot the morning of the wedding you can gift your girls their getting-ready robes on your wedding day and have fun getting ready for your big day together.
Is there a minimum age for bridesmaids?
Well, that may be a trick one! Technically, you pick your bridesmaids within your friend group which means the answer might vary depending on how old you are. What’s important is that if you intend on bringing in your 18-year-old cousin or sister as part of your bride tribe, you must be willing to accommodate her financial position as a typical 18-23 year old may not be able to afford some of the items on your dream wedding checklist.
Serena & Dominic are a married couple and parents to 3 wonderful children. They plan weddings, run multiple small businesses, and curate wedding events.
By giving you everything you need to make your dream wedding attainable, you can eliminate stress, get the ‘wedding glow,’ and focus on spending this rocking day with the person you adore. Discover their podcast for more information