A marriage survival kit is one of the cutest off-registry wedding presents or shower gifts for any soon-to-be bride or groom. What should you put in one, though? We’ve come up with a list that includes both practical and funny ideas! Let’s take a look, shall we?
Let’s start with a quick look at our top picks, then keep reading for all the glorious details.
Marriage Survival Kit Top Picks at a Glance
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- Lip Balm
- Ibuprofen
- Schick Intuition Razor
- Ear Plugs
- Chocolate
Check the table below for a side-by-side comparison of our favorites!
Table could not be displayed.What to Put in a Marriage Survival Kit Gift Basket
First things first- although we broke these down into “for her” and “for him,” all of the gifts below would work in either marriage survival kit.
For a gay or lesbian wedding, for example, you could give “hers and hers” or “his and his” gift baskets, choosing the items that best fit each partner’s personality.
Now, let’s start with the perfect funny marriage survival kit bridal shower gift for her!
Marriage Survival Kit for Her
The first thing you’ll need to put up the marriage survival gift for her is, of course, a super-cute box. This one from Amazon is my favorite and you get bonus points if she’s into vintage items!
Next up, you need to decide what to fill it with, so let’s take a look at the most common items you’ll find in a marriage survival kit.
1. Lip Balm
Actually, this is supposed to go in any kit, because we all need a lip balm from time to time. However, you can make it even more special with these LANEIGE Lip Balms. She’ll have 4 great flavors to choose from!
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2. Ibuprofen
You can basically get this from any drugstore (and generic works just as well as name-brand), but it’s a must in a marriage survival kit. Hey, even the most wonderful spouse in all the land gives us a headache from time to time, right?
3. Candy
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Your bride can’t go anywhere without candy, so make sure to throw some in for her! Either go for her favorites or choose this one filled with all of the greatest hits in the chocolate kingdom!
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4. Schick Intuition Razor
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Having a razor on hand is crucial at times, and your bride definitely knows it. No, it’s not in case you get REALLY out of line, silly. Don’t be so morbid!
I’d say you add the Schick Intuition razor to the marriage survival kit, so she’s always covered.
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5. Mints
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This is just a little something to have on hand, and you have so many options to choose from. To keep the vintage vibe, you can choose these Altoids!
Trust me, her honey will be happy you thought to include these after she eats her favorite garlicky dish on date night!
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6. Wine
Or better put “emergency wine.” A bottle of wine is always welcome in the marriage survival kit. Just make sure to choose something your bride loves!
If she doesn’t drink, you can include another relaxing beverage. Perhaps a package of chamomile tea? That always does the trick for me!
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7. Sleep Eye Mask
They say that marriage is a full-time job, and they ain’t kidding. So to help ensure that your union stays intact till death do you part, you need to make sure your sweetheart gets her beauty sleep. The solution? A comfy sleep eye mask. Bonus points for an eye mask that comes with a soothing, cooling gel. And do not forget – eye masks tend to get misplaced, lost, or destroyed by extra curious house pets – so spares are always a good idea.
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8. Calma Llama
A what? Relax, these things do exist. And if your significant other already finds llamas irresistible then getting her a Calma Llama will be like manna from heaven, especially when she’s stressed (no thanks to you). But when she is throwing, squeezing, or stretching her Calma Llama to de-stress, she will remember why you picked her as her Foreva Llama. You know what? You should get one for yourself too. You never know when you might need one.
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Marriage Survival Kit for Him
Now that we’ve settled the bride’s newlywed survival kit, let’s see what we can do for the gentlemen. For starters, check out this steampunk case from Amazon.
It’s absolutely incredible. Now, let’s take a look at what you can fill it with!
1. Ear Plugs
Jokingly or not, every groom needs a pair of reliable earplugs. Maybe his honey snores? Perhaps he just wants to tune out the whole world and hear himself think? Whatever the reason, these make a hilarious addition to a marriage survival kit for grooms!
- Soft Foam for All-Day Comfort - Made of premium soft PU foam with slow rebound for a secure fit and more comfortable wear during sleep, work, study, or travel.
- SNR 38dB Certified Noise Reduction - Tested to provide SNR 38dB noise reduction, helping block snoring, traffic, crowd noise, and other daily distractions for sleep, study, travel, and hearing protection.
- Great for Sleep, Study, Travel and Work - Ideal for sleeping, studying, flying, commuting, concerts, construction, shooting, and general noise reduction needs.
2. Coupons
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Normally, this is a gift that’s supposed to be approved by the partner. However, a set of coupons can really come in handy when he’d rather stay up and finish a Far Cry game instead of taking the trash out.
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3. Candles
Whoever came up with the weird idea that men don’t like candles was out of their mind. Guys love a good soak in a tub by candlelight, too! Check out this candle set that any groom would love! Maybe he can use it to drop a hint to his honey that they need a romantic night together.
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4. Googly Eyes
This one is mostly just for fun, but the groom will definitely make his partner laugh when he discovers that googly eyes can be put on anything! It just might spark a lifelong game between them to see who can find them first each day.
It’s amazing, really, how something so small can create the perfect way to really bond as a couple. Even more amazing to know that it all starts with you and your marriage survival kit basket!
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5. Chocolate
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Hey, grooms need chocolate too! So make sure to throw some candy in your DIY marriage survival kit for him! I really love these vintage-style bars by Seattle Chocolate.
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6. Coasters with Funny Advice on Marriage
Marriage is a lot of work for husbands too, and there are days when they just want to sit and grab a drink to regain their bearings. Having the perfect coaster to land their drink should help inspire them to continue being the man of your dreams, especially if the coaster also happens to offer super important advice on marriage, like “Remember: The wife is always right” or “The key to a successful marriage is saying ‘Yes, dear’ always.”
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7. Toilet Paper
And not just any toilet paper, mind you. Get your man a roll that comes with fun, even hilarious dedications or emoji designs. Our favorite is one that’s printed with “I ♥ the 💩 out of you” or “Thank you for putting up with my 💩.” Of course, you can customize it if you want, perhaps with a private joke that only you and your husband know. Yup, because true love can survive even the stinkiest of situations.
8. Back Scratcher
Never underestimate the de-stressing power of a spaghetti serving fork, err, sorry, back scratcher. If you can get him a rake back scratcher, by all means do so. It might not help you and your significant other evade the seven-year itch, but it sure will alleviate the scrabitch (officially defined as the impossible-to-reach area in the middle of the back which can never be scratched).
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Final Words
What else? Well, you can throw in some more practical items, too! Perhaps matches to go with the candles? Round everything out with a gift card. Maybe one to their favorite restaurant, or perhaps to a good local winery!
Just have fun with it. Think about what would make them laugh. After all, that’s the whole point of a funny gift like this.
Our Recommendation
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Have you decided how your marriage survival kit will look like yet? Share below!
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10 Beautiful Expensive Gay and Lesbian Engagement Gifts
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Andreea is a very passionate content creator and her purpose is to provide you with the most interesting articles, while constantly discovering new facts. She’s been freelance writing for the past five years and has created numerous articles and educational materials while managing her own blog.
Last update on 2026-07-21 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API