What to Put in a Funny Marriage Survival Kit Gift Basket

Woman's hand with earplugs. Put earplugs in your funny marriage survival gift basket

A marriage survival kit is one of the cutest off-registry wedding presents or shower gifts for any soon-to-be bride or groom. What should you put in one, though? We’ve come up with a list that includes both practical and funny ideas! Let’s take a look, shall we?

Let’s start with a quick look at our top picks, then keep reading for all the glorious details.

Marriage Survival Kit Top Picks at a Glance

If you see the value in these products and choose to purchase via my referral links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Check the table below for a side-by-side comparison of our favorites!

What to Put in a Marriage Survival Kit Gift Basket

First things first- although we broke these down into “for her” and “for him,” all of the gifts below would work in either marriage survival kit.

Best Practical Gifts for Engaged Co...
Best Practical Gifts for Engaged Couples and Newlyweds

For a gay or lesbian wedding, for example, you could give “hers and hers” or “his and his” gift baskets, choosing the items that best fit each partner’s personality.

Now, let’s start with the perfect funny marriage survival kit bridal shower gift for her!

Marriage Survival Kit for Her

The first thing you’ll need to put up the marriage survival gift for her is, of course, a super-cute box. This one from Etsy is my favorite and you get bonus points if she’s into vintage items!

Next up, you need to decide what to fill it with, so let’s take a look at the most common items you’ll find in a marriage survival kit.

1. Lip Balm

lip balm marriage survival kit

Actually, this is supposed to go in any kit, because we all need a lip balm from time to time. However, you can make it even more special with these Eos Natural Lip Balms. She’ll have 4 great flavors to choose from!

eos USDA Organic Lip Balm - Variety Pack Lip Care to Nourish Dry Lips 100% Natural and Gluten Free Long Lasting Hydration 0.14 oz 4 Pack
  • #1 Organic Lip Balm: Variety Pack. 100% all natural sustainably sourced flavored lip balms
  • All Natural Moisture and Protection: Natural butters, oils and waxes protect and lock in moisture to give you the healthiest lips and long lasting hydration
  • Smooth Application: Swipe on this conditioning, moisturizing lip balm with all natural Shea Butter, coconut oil, jojoba oil, and beeswax leave lips feeling smooth
  • Sustainably Sourced Shea: Packed with wild grown, sustainably sourced 100% natural shea butter to make your lips feel moisturized, protected and soft
  • All Natural Lip Care: We are paraben, phthalate and gluten free; PETA certified; No products tested on animals

2. Ibuprofen

Ibuprofen

You can basically get this from any drugstore (and generic works just as well as name-brand), but it’s a must in a marriage survival kit. Hey, even the most wonderful spouse in all the land gives us a headache from time to time, right?

Advil Liqui-Gels minis Pain Reliever and Fever Reducer, Pain Medicine for Adults with Ibuprofen 200mg for Pain Relief - 200 Liquid Filled Capsules
  • One bottle of 200 Advil Liqui-Gels minis Pain Reliever and Fever Reducer Liquid Filled Capsules, Pain Medicine for Adults with Ibuprofen 200mg for Pain Relief
  • Ibuprofen Liqui-Gels in a 33% smaller capsule, and new packaging will feature 20% less plastic to keep nearly 500,000 pounds of plastic out of landfills
  • Headache medicine, back pain medicine and joint or minor arthritis pain reliever that are faster and stronger on tough pain than Tylenol Rapid Release Gels.
  • Pain reliever and fever reducer for adults designed for fast absorption, with the same strength as regular size Advil Liqui-Gels
  • Fever medicine and headache pain relief, period pain relief, joint pain medicine and back pain medication for adults and children 12 years and older

3. Candy

candy for marriage survival kit

Your bride can’t go anywhere without candy, so make sure to throw some in for her! Either go for her favorites or choose this one filled with all of the greatest hits in the chocolate kingdom! 

SNICKERS, TWIX, MILKY WAY & 3 MUSKETEERS Variety Pack Fun Size Variety Pack Milk Chocolate & Dark Chocolate Candy Bars Assortment, 40 oz 135 Piece Bag
  • Contains two (2) 40-ounce bags of MARS Mini Chocolate Favorites Variety Mix featuring SNICKERS Candy, TWIX Bar, 3 MUSKETEERS Chocolate, MILKY WAY Candy Bar and MILKY WAY Midnight Chocolate
  • You're not you when you're hungry. That's why SNICKERS bars are packed with peanuts, for that satisfying, hunger-busting, chocolatey goodness. SNICKERS Bars bring you back to being yourself – hunger free, satisfied, and ready for anything that comes.
  • Pick a side left TWIX Bar is a crisp, flavorful cookie with deliciously chewy caramel and smoothly creamy chocolate. Right TWIX Bar is deliciously smooth chocolate, crunchy delectable cookie and rich caramel. All you have to do is pick your favorite side.
  • 3 MUSKETEERS chocolate candy gives you the light, mousse-like texture of fluffy, whipped, chocolate nougat, coated in a smooth, milk chocolate for a chocolate treat so light, fluffy, and delicious, it might just float away.
  • Everybody loves MILKY WAY Milk Chocolate, but for different reasons. We like the smooth coating of rich, decadent milk chocolate that coats every scrumptious MILKY WAY bar in a creamy, deliciously chocolatey covering.

4. Schick Intuition Razor

Schick Intuition Razor

Having a razor on hand is crucial at times, and your bride definitely knows it. No, it’s not in case you get REALLY out of line, silly. Don’t be so morbid!

I’d say you add the Schick Intuition razor to the marriage survival kit, so she’s always covered.

Schick Intuition Revitalizing Moisture Razor for Women with 2 Moisturizing Razor Blade Refills and Tropical Citrus Extracts
  • SCHICK(r) INTUITION(r) FOR WOMEN PUT THE SHAVE CREAM RIGHT ON THE RAZOR!
  • LATHERS and MOISTURIZES during shaving --no need for soap, shave gel or body wash.
  • UNIQUE SKIN CONDITIONING SOLID infused with tropical citrus extracts moisturizes skin during shaving and will leave skin smooth - and you looking radiant.
  • FOUR BLADES that allow for a precise shave
  • PIVOTING HEAD that follows the contours of a woman's body to help minimize nicks and cuts

5. Mints

mints funny marriage survival kit bridal shower gift

This is just a little something to have on hand, and you have so many options to choose from. To keep the vintage vibe, you can choose these Altoids!

Trust me, her honey will be happy you thought to include these after she eats her favorite garlicky dish on date night!

Altoids Wintergreen Mints - 1.76 oz. - 6 ct.
  • Altoids Wintergreen Mints - 1.76 oz. - 6 ct.This is a 6 pack of Altoids Wintergreen Mints

6. Wine

St Regis Sparkling Brut (Non Alcoholic Wine)

Or better put “emergency wine.” A bottle of wine is always welcome in the marriage survival kit. Just make sure to choose something your bride loves!

If she doesn’t drink, you can include another relaxing beverage. Perhaps a package of chamomile tea? That always does the trick for me!

Marriage Survival Kit for Him

Now that we’ve settled the bride’s newlywed survival kit, let’s see what we can do for the gentlemen. For starters, check out this steampunk case from Etsy.

marriage survival kit for him from Etsy

It’s absolutely incredible. Now, let’s take a look at what you can fill it with!

1. Ear Plugs

ear plugs marriage survival kit amazon

Jokingly or not, every groom needs a pair of reliable earplugs. Maybe his honey snores? Perhaps he just wants to tune out the whole world and hear himself think? Whatever the reason, these make a hilarious addition to a marriage survival kit for grooms!

Sale
Ultra Soft Green Foam Earplugs 60 Pairs, 38dB SNR Noise Reduction Ear Plugs for Sleeping, Snoring, Work, Travel, Shooting and All Loud Events, Lysian
  • Non-toxic & Slow Rebound Material: Made of Super Soft and Non-toxic PU Foam (Latex free and PVC free); Slow rebound foam material fits different ear canal structures and have no pressure on ear
  • High Noise Reduction: 38dB SNR (Single Number Rating) and 31dB NRR (Noise Reduction Rating) - They are two different rating systems; High noise reduction rate ear plugs can meet the needs of noise reduction in different occasions
  • Multiple Uses: Great for Sleeping, Working, Studying, Shooting, Travel or any environment you need quiet
  • What You Get: 60 pairs foam earplugs + one pair of silicone earplugs + plastic carrying case
  • Fit Ear Canal Well: The earplugs fit well in the ear canal and you won't have to worry about them falling out; Ear plugs stay in all night, suit for side sleepers

2. Coupons

love coupons marriage survival kit gift

Normally, this is a gift that’s supposed to be approved by the partner. However, a set of coupons can really come in handy when he’d rather stay up and finish a Far Cry game instead of taking the trash out.

Knock Knock Vouchers for Lovers
  • Knock Knock (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 20 Pages - 03/01/2011 (Publication Date) - Knock Knock (Publisher)

3. Candles

candles for marriage survival kit basket

Whoever came up with the weird idea that men don’t like candles was out of their mind. Guys love a good soak in a tub by candlelight, too! Check out this candle set that any groom would love! Maybe he can use it to drop a hint to his honey that they need a romantic night together.

Hand-Poured Twin-Pack Relaxation Candles Gift Set: Warm and Welcoming Scents - Ideal for Aromatherapy, Zen, Chakra Balancing, Yoga - Includes Candle Holder & Wick Trimmer - Candles for Home Scented
  • PREMIUM CANDLES GIFT SET – Divine scented candles for home and heart. A natural blend of soy wax with luxurious scents from the finest artisans in candle fragrances. Hand poured aromatherapy candles for home scented serenity.
  • SIGNATURE SCENTED CANDLES – Devotion is an intimate blend of warm maple with hints of cinnamon & citrus. Serenity is an alluring blend of divine cacao with hints of vanilla & amber.
  • DECOR DESIGNED – Wooden bowl houses our premium gun metal candle containers and comes with a designer copper coated wick trimmer. A truly elegant set of decorative candles to enhance the home & heart.
  • AROMATHERAPY – Soy candles to calm the mind and body and provide a mood enhancing atmosphere of up to 30hrs burn time (200grams/7oz)
  • THE PERFECT GIFT – Thank You – Birthday - Wedding – Anniversary - Housewarming – Christmas - Stress Relief Candles Gift Set – Mood Enhancing Bath Candles - Luxury Candles for Mother’s Day – Unique Candles as Spiritual Gifts for Women, Men & You.

4. Googly Eyes

This one is mostly just for fun, but the groom will definitely make his partner laugh when he discovers that googly eyes can be put on anything! It just might spark a lifelong game between them to see who can find them first each day.

It’s amazing, really, how something so small can create the perfect way to really bond as a couple. Even more amazing to know that it all starts with you and your marriage survival kit basket!

5. Chocolate

Hey, grooms need chocolate too! So make sure to throw some candy in your DIY marriage survival kit for him! I really love these vintage-style bars by Seattle Chocolate.

Seattle Chocolates Seasons Bar Trio 3 x 2.5 oz
  • A delicious 7.5-ounce Seattle Chocolates Holiday Milk and Dark Chocolate 3 bar gift set
  • Smooth, melt away texture results in a perfectly blended confection that literally melts on the tongue
  • All-natural; gluten free; non gmo; kosher certified; Seattle Chocolates sources only ethically traded chocolate
  • Premium chocolate carefully prepared in small batches with the highest quality all-natural chocolate with no preservatives or additives

Final Words

What else? Well, you can throw in some more practical items, too! Perhaps matches to go with the candles? Round everything out with a gift card. Maybe one to their favorite restaurant, or perhaps to a good local winery!

Just have fun with it. Think about what would make them laugh. After all, that’s the whole point of a funny gift like this.

Our Recommendation

SNICKERS, TWIX, MILKY WAY & 3 MUSKETEERS Variety Pack Fun Size Variety Pack Milk Chocolate & Dark Chocolate Candy Bars Assortment, 40 oz 135 Piece Bag
  • Contains two (2) 40-ounce bags of MARS Mini Chocolate Favorites Variety Mix featuring SNICKERS Candy, TWIX Bar, 3 MUSKETEERS Chocolate, MILKY WAY Candy Bar and MILKY WAY Midnight Chocolate
  • You're not you when you're hungry. That's why SNICKERS bars are packed with peanuts, for that satisfying, hunger-busting, chocolatey goodness. SNICKERS Bars bring you back to being yourself – hunger free, satisfied, and ready for anything that comes.
  • Pick a side left TWIX Bar is a crisp, flavorful cookie with deliciously chewy caramel and smoothly creamy chocolate. Right TWIX Bar is deliciously smooth chocolate, crunchy delectable cookie and rich caramel. All you have to do is pick your favorite side.
  • 3 MUSKETEERS chocolate candy gives you the light, mousse-like texture of fluffy, whipped, chocolate nougat, coated in a smooth, milk chocolate for a chocolate treat so light, fluffy, and delicious, it might just float away.
  • Everybody loves MILKY WAY Milk Chocolate, but for different reasons. We like the smooth coating of rich, decadent milk chocolate that coats every scrumptious MILKY WAY bar in a creamy, deliciously chocolatey covering.
Want to make your own DIY marriage survival kit gift basket? Check out 10 clever ideas on what to put in one for him or her!

Have you decided how your marriage survival kit will look like yet? Share below!

Last update on 2022-08-16 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

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