A marriage survival kit is one of the cutest off-registry wedding presents or shower gifts for any soon-to-be bride or groom. What should you put in one, though? We’ve come up with a list that includes both practical and funny ideas! Let’s take a look, shall we?
Let’s start with a quick look at our top picks, then keep reading for all the glorious details.
Marriage Survival Kit Top Picks at a Glance
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- Lip Balm
- Ibuprofen
- Schick Intuition Razor
- Ear Plugs
- Chocolate
Check the table below for a side-by-side comparison of our favorites!
What to Put in a Marriage Survival Kit Gift Basket
First things first- although we broke these down into “for her” and “for him,” all of the gifts below would work in either marriage survival kit.
For a gay or lesbian wedding, for example, you could give “hers and hers” or “his and his” gift baskets, choosing the items that best fit each partner’s personality.
Now, let’s start with the perfect funny marriage survival kit bridal shower gift for her!
Marriage Survival Kit for Her
The first thing you’ll need to put up the marriage survival gift for her is, of course, a super-cute box. This one from Amazon is my favorite and you get bonus points if she’s into vintage items!
Next up, you need to decide what to fill it with, so let’s take a look at the most common items you’ll find in a marriage survival kit.
1. Lip Balm
Actually, this is supposed to go in any kit, because we all need a lip balm from time to time. However, you can make it even more special with these LANEIGE Lip Balms. She’ll have 4 great flavors to choose from!
- A lightweight, moisture-coating lip balm for hydrated soft lips throughout the day.
- Lip Glowy Balm is pocket sized for easy, on-the-go application. The formula contains murumuru and shea butters that provide powerful hydration and lock in moisture longer.
- A lightweight, moisture-coating lip balm for hydrated, and kissable lips throughout the day. How to use: Apply lip balm directly to lips and reapply throughout the day as needed. Skincare Concerns: Lip Dryness Highlighted Ingredients: Murumuru Butter and Shea Butter: Nourish and moisturizes lips. What Else You Need to Know: The perfect daytime partner in crime to the cult-favorite Lip Sleeping Mask, Lip Glowy Balm is pocket sized for easy, on-the-go application. The formula contains murumuru and shea butters that provide powerful hydration and lock in moisture.
2. Ibuprofen
You can basically get this from any drugstore (and generic works just as well as name-brand), but it’s a must in a marriage survival kit. Hey, even the most wonderful spouse in all the land gives us a headache from time to time, right?
3. Candy
Your bride can’t go anywhere without candy, so make sure to throw some in for her! Either go for her favorites or choose this one filled with all of the greatest hits in the chocolate kingdom!
- Contains two (2) 40-ounce bags of MARS Mini Chocolate Favorites Variety Mix featuring SNICKERS Candy, TWIX Bar, 3 MUSKETEERS Chocolate, MILKY WAY Candy Bar and MILKY WAY Midnight Chocolate
- You're not you when you're hungry. That's why SNICKERS bars are packed with peanuts, for that satisfying, hunger-busting, chocolatey goodness. SNICKERS Bars bring you back to being yourself – hunger free, satisfied, and ready for anything that comes.
- Pick a side left TWIX Bar is a crisp, flavorful cookie with deliciously chewy caramel and smoothly creamy chocolate. Right TWIX Bar is deliciously smooth chocolate, crunchy delectable cookie and rich caramel. All you have to do is pick your favorite side.
- Contains one (1) 27.3-ounce, 18-count variety pack of HERSHEY’S, KIT KAT and REESE’S Assorted Milk Chocolate Halloween Candy Bars
- Keep your ghoulish guests in suspense with a mixture of full size milk chocolate treats to satisfy trick-or-treaters and costume party attendees
- Sink your fangs into a chocolate assortment that includes 18 individually wrapped, kosher and full size candy bars for your next frightening event
4. Schick Intuition Razor
Having a razor on hand is crucial at times, and your bride definitely knows it. No, it’s not in case you get REALLY out of line, silly. Don’t be so morbid!
I’d say you add the Schick Intuition razor to the marriage survival kit, so she’s always covered.
- SCHICK(r) INTUITION(r) FOR WOMEN PUT THE SHAVE CREAM RIGHT ON THE RAZOR!
- LATHERS and MOISTURIZES during shaving --no need for soap, shave gel or body wash.
- UNIQUE SKIN CONDITIONING SOLID infused with tropical citrus extracts moisturizes skin during shaving and will leave skin smooth - and you looking radiant.
5. Mints
This is just a little something to have on hand, and you have so many options to choose from. To keep the vintage vibe, you can choose these Altoids!
Trust me, her honey will be happy you thought to include these after she eats her favorite garlicky dish on date night!
6. Wine
Or better put “emergency wine.” A bottle of wine is always welcome in the marriage survival kit. Just make sure to choose something your bride loves!
If she doesn’t drink, you can include another relaxing beverage. Perhaps a package of chamomile tea? That always does the trick for me!
- ITALIAN SANGIOVESE WINE KIT: Modern in style, this velvety wine has floral aromas of toast, licorice, dark fruit and juniper. Its flavours smack of ripe dark fruit, spice and smoke. Pour a glass with your favourite pasta dish or with braised short ribs. Makes 30 bottles with an ABV between 11% and 13%.
- HIGH QUALITY INGREDIENTS: We use high quality ingredients from the world’s top vineyards. Red wine kits ingredients include: wine base, brewer’s yeast, Bentonite, Sulphite, Sorbate, Chitosan, Kieselsol. (Wine Making Equipment and bottles/labels NOT Included).
- CUSTOMIZED WINE MAKING: Home brewing should allow you to create a customized wine. Our DIY Kits include just the basic ingredients for a spectacular wine. Save the extra money on our wine kit and choose your own flavor add-ins. Find oak or berry flavor packs of your choice to experiment with additional flavor, color and texture profiles.
7. Sleep Eye Mask
They say that marriage is a full-time job, and they ain’t kidding. So to help ensure that your union stays intact till death do you part, you need to make sure your sweetheart gets her beauty sleep. The solution? A comfy sleep eye mask. Bonus points for an eye mask that comes with a soothing, cooling gel. And do not forget – eye masks tend to get misplaced, lost, or destroyed by extra curious house pets – so spares are always a good idea.
- 100% Blocking Light: Human engineering contour can improve 99% lightproof performance, to achieve a total darkness, perfectly match nose of any height.
- 3D Contoured Design: NO pressure on the eyes, allows you to blink freely, and don’t touch your eye makeup, increase REM sleep.
- Improved Adjustable Buckle: Gentle, pain-free, easy-to-adjust headband won’t tangle hair or snag pillow. Fully adjustable strap from 18.5 inches to 27.5 inches.
8. Calma Llama
A what? Relax, these things do exist. And if your significant other already finds llamas irresistible then getting her a Calma Llama will be like manna from heaven, especially when she’s stressed (no thanks to you). But when she is throwing, squeezing, or stretching her Calma Llama to de-stress, she will remember why you picked her as her Foreva Llama. You know what? You should get one for yourself too. You never know when you might need one.
- ✔ DE-STRESS IN STYLE – Love llamas? Feeling stressed? This novelty llama stress toy will not only help you free yourself of stress and drama but leave you feeling like a calma llama!
- ✔ GREAT GIFT FOR A LLAMA LOVER – Whether it’s for birthday, secret Santa, mother’s day or Christmas, this fun Calma Llama Stress Toy makes the perfect anti stress gift for any llama loving girl, mum, sister, friend, and colleague!
- ✔ PERFECT FOR HELPING ANXIETY – Your new anti-anxiety llama friend is perfectly sized to carry around anywhere you go so you can fidget and squeeze away to help deal with your anxiety!
Marriage Survival Kit for Him
Now that we’ve settled the bride’s newlywed survival kit, let’s see what we can do for the gentlemen. For starters, check out this steampunk case from Amazon.
It’s absolutely incredible. Now, let’s take a look at what you can fill it with!
1. Ear Plugs
Jokingly or not, every groom needs a pair of reliable earplugs. Maybe his honey snores? Perhaps he just wants to tune out the whole world and hear himself think? Whatever the reason, these make a hilarious addition to a marriage survival kit for grooms!
2. Coupons
Normally, this is a gift that’s supposed to be approved by the partner. However, a set of coupons can really come in handy when he’d rather stay up and finish a Far Cry game instead of taking the trash out.
- Knock Knock (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 20 Pages - 03/01/2011 (Publication Date) - Knock Knock (Publisher)
3. Candles
Whoever came up with the weird idea that men don’t like candles was out of their mind. Guys love a good soak in a tub by candlelight, too! Check out this candle set that any groom would love! Maybe he can use it to drop a hint to his honey that they need a romantic night together.
- 6 pack 3.5 oz amber jar candles in a vintage gift box, MIMURHYL, FRESH ROSE, CEDAR TEAKWOOD, SWEET GRAPEFRUIT, ROSE&GARNETBERRY, and FIG.
- Made from premium soy wax and 8% premium oils without bad ingredients. Equipped with the cotton wick minimize soot and irregular lump.
- Each candle weighs 3.5 oz (L 2.4 inches x H 2.5 inches), approximately 20 to 25 hours using time, 6 candles totally 120 to 150 hours. Soy wax candles are more practical, because they normally lasts around 20% slower than general candles.
4. Googly Eyes
This one is mostly just for fun, but the groom will definitely make his partner laugh when he discovers that googly eyes can be put on anything! It just might spark a lifelong game between them to see who can find them first each day.
It’s amazing, really, how something so small can create the perfect way to really bond as a couple. Even more amazing to know that it all starts with you and your marriage survival kit basket!
- 【Variety Choices】suitable size for using include:6mm, 8mm, 10mm, 12mm,15mm, multiple size for your choice.
- 【Premium Material】Craft sticker eyes are made of high quality plastic, safe, environmentally friendly. Each piece is carefully selected after strict quality control. Packed in high quality transparent plastic boxes for easy storage and portability.
- 【Simple Used】Googly eyes are self-adhesive, just peel off stickers the sticker and paste, no glue is needed. They are really sticky and durable and won’t come off easily even if used for a long time.
5. Chocolate
Hey, grooms need chocolate too! So make sure to throw some candy in your DIY marriage survival kit for him! I really love these vintage-style bars by Seattle Chocolate.
- A delicious 7.5-ounce Seattle Chocolates Holiday Milk and Dark Chocolate 3 bar gift set
- Smooth, melt away texture results in a perfectly blended confection that literally melts on the tongue
- All-natural; gluten free; non gmo; kosher certified; Seattle Chocolates sources only ethically traded chocolate
6. Coasters with Funny Advice on Marriage
Marriage is a lot of work for husbands too, and there are days when they just want to sit and grab a drink to regain their bearings. Having the perfect coaster to land their drink should help inspire them to continue being the man of your dreams, especially if the coaster also happens to offer super important advice on marriage, like “Remember: The wife is always right” or “The key to a successful marriage is saying ‘Yes, dear’ always.”
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- Anniversary Gift for Couple Get your customizable gifts for your anniversary with names and date! A keepsake that will last generations! Never forget your Date(men) it is in your kitchen!
- Wedding gifts for couples unique 2023 – Get your friends and family personalized wooden coasters for the greatest wedding gifts. Bride and groom gifts made with love by Naked Wood Works!
7. Toilet Paper
And not just any toilet paper, mind you. Get your man a roll that comes with fun, even hilarious dedications or emoji designs. Our favorite is one that’s printed with “I ♥ the 💩 out of you” or “Thank you for putting up with my 💩.” Of course, you can customize it if you want, perhaps with a private joke that only you and your husband know. Yup, because true love can survive even the stinkiest of situations.
8. Back Scratcher
Never underestimate the de-stressing power of a spaghetti serving fork, err, sorry, back scratcher. If you can get him a rake back scratcher, by all means do so. It might not help you and your significant other evade the seven-year itch, but it sure will alleviate the scrabitch (officially defined as the impossible-to-reach area in the middle of the back which can never be scratched).
- High-quality products：The Portable Extendable Back Scratcher is made of stainless steel. It will never rust for a long time, and it is not easy to bend and deform. The non-slip handle is made of soft rubber.
- portable and lightweight: The product includes a portable cloth bag, which you can use at any time in the office, business trips, travel, etc.
- Telescopic Handle: Portable Extendable Back Scratcher can reach 27 inches and retract 8 inches. It meets the required length of the human back.
Final Words
What else? Well, you can throw in some more practical items, too! Perhaps matches to go with the candles? Round everything out with a gift card. Maybe one to their favorite restaurant, or perhaps to a good local winery!
Just have fun with it. Think about what would make them laugh. After all, that’s the whole point of a funny gift like this.
Our Recommendation
- Contains two (2) 40-ounce bags of MARS Mini Chocolate Favorites Variety Mix featuring SNICKERS Candy, TWIX Bar, 3 MUSKETEERS Chocolate, MILKY WAY Candy Bar and MILKY WAY Midnight Chocolate
- You're not you when you're hungry. That's why SNICKERS bars are packed with peanuts, for that satisfying, hunger-busting, chocolatey goodness. SNICKERS Bars bring you back to being yourself – hunger free, satisfied, and ready for anything that comes.
- Pick a side left TWIX Bar is a crisp, flavorful cookie with deliciously chewy caramel and smoothly creamy chocolate. Right TWIX Bar is deliciously smooth chocolate, crunchy delectable cookie and rich caramel. All you have to do is pick your favorite side.
Have you decided how your marriage survival kit will look like yet? Share below!
Andreea is a very passionate content creator and her purpose is to provide you with the most interesting articles, while constantly discovering new facts. She’s been freelance writing for the past five years and has created numerous articles and educational materials while managing her own blog.
