If you’re a bride planning your wedding day, you may want to ask one of your closest friends or family members to be part of your bridal party, as a maid of honor.
It’s important to put effort into the process, as your potential maid of honor may have a lot of responsibilities. Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful, so you need to make sure that your chosen friend will be there for you during this time.
You can ask someone to be a maid of honor in a lot of different ways, though many people opt for writing a proposal letter.
You’ll learn how to write a proposal letter to your maid of honor in this post. This includes the things you should incorporate in the letter, when you should send it, and other tips to help you with the process.
Choosing your maid of honor is a big decision, and it’s important to make your proposal letter personal and heartfelt. You want to convey your appreciation and excitement for having them as a part of your special day.
Why Are Maid Of Honor Proposal Letters A Good Idea?
Some brides may be wondering whether writing a proposal letter to their maid of honor is necessary. Couldn’t you just ask the person to be a part of the bridal party, without spending time writing a letter?
You could opt for this route, but several advantages come with the proposal letter method.
The first is that a letter allows the bride to write down why they believe the person would be good for the part. It also lets them detail any expectations she’ll have for them that are related to the wedding.
For instance, if you’d like the maid of honor to help with the ceremony, they should have enough time so they can start planning. Another example is whether you want this person to walk down with you during the ceremony.
However, an issue here is that some people won’t know what planning a wedding, or accompanying a person down an aisle really entails. A letter allows the bride to clarify their wishes in detail.
A proposal letter also lets the bride tell their chosen maid of honor the level of responsibility they’ll have.
If you’d prefer to handle most of the wedding yourself and want the maid of honor to have more of a bridesmaid role, this isn’t an issue, as they shouldn’t be entrusted with a lot of responsibilities.
On the other hand, if you’d like your maid of honor to be more involved in the wedding, you can detail all of your expectations within the letter. The person in question can ruminate over these requests and decide whether or not to accept the proposal.
What Should A Maid Of Honor Request Letter Contain?
If you’ve decided to go with the proposal letter method, you’ll have to include certain details within the letter.
The bride should clarify what they’ll expect from the maid of honor, as well as what they want them to help with during the wedding.
Other features you may want to include are:
- What you believe their skills are
- How long you need them to remain implicated in the ceremony
- If you’d like them to cover certain wedding expenses, like the maid of honor/bridesmaid dress
- When you’d like them to begin helping you with wedding planning
- How much time is needed to finish their responsibilities
- If a rehearsal dinner is happening and if they are included in the event
- Length of time they’ll need to journey to and from the wedding location
- Other elements that may be useful
When Should You Send A Proposal Letter To Your Maid Of Honor?
Ideally, it’s best to send a proposal letter to your maid of honor eight months to one year before the planned ceremony.
This ensures you have enough time to plan everything and make sure you’ve gone over everything mentioned within the proposal letter.
You should be sure of the things you want and expect from the maid of honor, well before you send the letter. It’s only right that they fully understand what they will be expected to do before they accept – or reject – your proposal.
Different Ways Of Writing A Letter To Your Maid Of Honor
You could layout your maid of honor proposal letter in three main ways:
- Formal
- Informal
- Poem
Formal proposal letters will sound very conventional. This should contain traditional elements, like addresses and dates, as well as a salutation. Formal letters will have three main sections, an introduction, a main body, and a conclusion.
A formal proposal letter may seem too particular for some people, but it can be a good option for those that prefer to follow an outline as they write.
Your maid of honor will be an important person to you, so your letter may go into your friendship in the introduction, cover the wedding elements in the main body, then conclude with the proposal itself.
Informal proposal letters give you more leeway, as there aren’t a lot of rules that you need to follow.
You can address the person however you wish, choose to type the letter, or handwrite it yourself. If you prefer, you can also use abbreviations and slang.
This letter can include whatever you want. As long as the reader can understand it, you could structure it in a variety of ways. You could note down some shared moments, try telling a story, or explain why you love them and want them to be a maid of honor.
A poem is also a nice way to form your proposal letter. This is a creative way of showing how excited you are to include this person in your wedding. Poems can do wonders for expressing your emotions. You don’t need to be a poet either, as they don’t need to rhyme!
Depending on your friendship, your poem could be on the funny side, or more in-depth, full of feelings. As long as your maid of honor understands what will be expected of them, the choice is up to you!
More Advice For A Maid Of Honor Request Letter
Here are some tips to help you with writing a proposal letter to your maid of honor.
Place Your Letter Inside A Proposal Box
A proposal box contains several things that a bride wants to send to their potential maid of honor or bridesmaids. This box tends to be catered to the recipient, involving the wedding essentials and some of the receiver’s favorite things.
A proposal box can be a thoughtful way of asking your loved ones to be part of your bridal party. You can include your letter within this box to make the proposal incredibly special.
Send The Letter On Time
Weddings can be stressful, so you want to give your potential maid of honor enough notice before the wedding.
As mentioned above, it’s best to send the proposal to your potential maid of honor eight months to one year before the planned ceremony.
If your wedding is a smaller, bare-bones affair, give them a minimum of six months. The recipient should have enough time to go over the proposal, buy their dress, and plan the necessary events.
Handwrite Your Letter
If you prefer, you can type and print out your proposal letter. Digitally creating the letter may be advantageous if you’re short on time, or don’t have the best penmanship.
However, if your handwriting isn’t terrible, and you have enough time to do so, it’s a good idea to handwrite your maid of honor proposal. Handwriting your letter shows the recipient that you have put time and effort into the request.
A handwritten letter is also completely unique. Typed letters may be neat, but a handwritten letter seems that little more special!
Use High-Quality Stationery
All wedding-related documents, like thank you letters, invitations, and proposal letters, need to be written on high-quality stationery.
If you’re handwriting the letter, it’s best to use a black or blue pen. A fountain pen will look better, but you can use ballpoint if you prefer.
In terms of the paper, opt for either white, cream, or ivory paper. This should have a watermark and weigh at least 100gsm. This will be heavy enough to prevent the ink from leaking through to the back.
The Bottom Line
Now you know how to write a proposal letter and send it to your maid of honor!
You can ask someone to be a maid of honor however you wish, but a letter allows you to fully explain why you love them, what their duties will be, and why you want them to be a part of your bridal party.
Remember to send the letter with enough notice and make sure that it looks neat. Weddings can involve a lot of preparation, so you need to ensure that your maid of honor has enough planning time.
We hope that you enjoy the writing process and that your potential maid of honor accepts your proposal!
Serena & Dominic are a married couple and parents to 3 wonderful children. They plan weddings, run multiple small businesses, and curate wedding events.
By giving you everything you need to make your dream wedding attainable, you can eliminate stress, get the ‘wedding glow,’ and focus on spending this rocking day with the person you adore. Discover their podcast for more information