5 Ways That Counseling Can Strengthen Your Marriage

Most people consider couples counseling to be a last resort to avoid divorce.

However, counseling is often beneficial to marriages for a myriad of reasons [1] and can be utilized long before there are any significant issues in the relationship.  

It is much better to start counseling when the little stuff pops up to avoid more significant problems down the road.

Numerous studies show evidence that couples who sought out counseling earlier in their marriage reported more satisfying relationships in the long term [2].

Couples can improve their communication, overcome their differences, and navigate significant life transitions with counseling.  

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If you’ve considered couples counseling, but are not sure if it is right for you, then read on to learn about some of the ways that a counselor can strengthen your marriage.

Frequent Arguing

If you and your partner often argue without any resolution, progress, or growth, then it may be time to get a counselor involved.

Since a counselor is a neutral third party, they will listen to both sides of the argument and come up with a compromise or solution that works for both of you.  

Couple Arguing

Furthermore, a counselor will also help the two of you with communication.

Many arguments and conflicts arise from miscommunications or misunderstandings.

A counselor will identify these in your relationship and develop strategies to have healthier, more productive arguments [3] in the future.

Related: Tips For Maintaining Happiness

Intimacy Issues

A counselor can also help if you and your partner are experiencing a lack of intimacy [4] or sex.

Sometimes, this can signify a more profound emotional problem that your counselor will help you address.  

Couple in bed angry at each other under title 5 Ways That Counseling Can Strengthen Your Marriage

If sex is precisely the issue, you can also talk to a sex therapist [5] for guidance and help with your sex life.  

The good thing is that you don’t have to have sex to feel intimate with your partner.

There are many other ways to show intimacy, such as kissing and cuddling, that can be enough to keep both partners satisfied.

Your counselor will be able to suggest some intimacy ideas that will help keep your love strong.

Conflicting Values

People with differing values, philosophies, and religions can still make a marriage work.

However, if one or both partners are not open-minded or willing to discuss their differences cordially, then the marriage is bound to have some problems.  

A counselor can help you and your partner navigate your differences [6] and find a way to appreciate each other for your unique perspectives and beliefs.

Interracial couple in counselling

They can help show you that although you two see the world differently, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a harmonious relationship.

Your counselor will remind both of you of the strengths of each perspective and how that viewpoint is beneficial to the marriage.

Mental Illness

Mental illness can undoubtedly be an added hurdle to any marriage.

Not only does the partner with a mental illness have challenges and obstacles that mentally healthy people can’t imagine, but they also have a different way of seeing reality and interacting with the world around them.  

Furthermore, people with mental illnesses may have specific needs and boundaries that those not living with a mental illness may not understand.  

Counselors have a thorough knowledge of how people living with certain mental illnesses operate and think, making them a tremendous third party in the issue.

They can help bridge the gap between the two versions of communication and perceptions of reality, helping you and your partner understand each other’s needs and boundaries.  

Furthermore, your counselor may also provide resources and treatment for the person living with the mental illness.

Taking some form of treatment and developing coping strategies may reduce some of the mental illness’s hurdles to the marriage.

You may check the common challenges in marriage life you should be aware of.

Significant life changes can shake up even the strongest of bonds.

Young couple expecting a child

Whether moving, retirement, having children, or watching your children move out, a considerable difference can cause friction and conflict.

Not only will a counselor give guidance on how to navigate the transition, but they will also be able to help you and your partner work through any communication issues or other conflicts that arise from this life change.

Final Thoughts

Every marriage has its strains and roadblocks. Whether you are recently married or have been together for decades, counseling can help the two of you overcome the most common issues that show up in every marriage.

Even if you believe your problems are too small for counseling, remember that working on those issues now will prevent them from snowballing into something much more prominent later.  

Couple in Marriage Counselling


1. Stepko B. 7 Reasons You May Need Marriage Counseling [Internet]. AARP. Available from: https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/marriage-counseling.html

2. https://www.facebook.com/verywell. How to Know if You Need Marriage Counseling [Internet]. Verywell Mind. 2019. Available from: https://www.verywellmind.com/does-marriage-counseling-work-2300428

3. Want a better marriage? Learn to fight fair [Internet]. NBC News. Available from: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/want-better-marriage-learn-fight-fair-5-easy-steps-ncna806011

4. Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage [Internet]. 2019. Available from: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/keep-the-spark-alive-in-your-marriage

5. Weston LC, PhD. What Does a Sex Therapist Do? [Internet]. WebMD. Available from: https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/what-does-sex-therapist-do

6. menchu. 3 Tips on Managing Conflicting Values in Relationships [Internet]. Strategic Psychology Canberra. 2018 [cited 2022 Feb 9]. Available from: https://strategicpsychology.com.au/3-tips-on-managing-conflicting-values-in-relationships/

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